by Ray Sanchez 07.27.14
I took golf up when I was 21 or 22 years old. I like to think I could swing like that then, although with nowhere near the accuracy or length. I’m sure many other senior golfers feet the same.
Ah, age. It’s a different game when you get older. Your drives get shorter, your chips go astray, three-foot putts give you the shakes. But many of us keep trying, always hoping, always hoping to find the old magic.
In fact, I would say senior golfers are the lifeblood of some courses. They have the time and the resources to play on a regular basis.
BUT WHY am I telling you all this? Because one of my senior golfing buddies, Matt Sloan, sent me a set of “rules for senior golfers” that has been making the rounds on the Internet. He says he got them from a friend named Marv Lute, who is the secretary for the local senior group that goes by the name of Prime of Life Players (POLP). I got a kick out of the “rules.” I hope you do, too.
Following are “RCGA Changes in Golf Rules for Senior Golfers Aged 50+:”
Rule 1.a.5 — A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. The senior player should not be penalized for tall grass which ground keepers failed to mow.
Rule 2.d.6 (B) — A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed NOT to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree, and play the ball from there.
Rule 3.B.3(G) — There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course, and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, thereby making it a stolen ball. The senior player is not to compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty.
Rule 4.c.7(h) — If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The Law of Gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.
Rule 5 — Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does, however, not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a mockery of the game.
Rule 6.a.9(k) — There is no penalty for so-called “out of bounds.” If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior player deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule 7.G.15(z) — There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior players should not be penalized for any shortcomings of the manufacturers.
Rule 8.k.9(S) — Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impractical for many senior players, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.
Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes and keep multiple copies in your golf bag. Those not following the rules need to be provided a copy. Golf is a game of integrity. End of rules.
OF COURSE, this is all in fun, and most seniors try to follow the real rules. Yet both Sloan and I have seen some fellow golfers “forgetting” or simply, uh, “absent mindedly,” not following them exactly.
Hey, getting old has its benefits.