It’s been two weeks since the XLVII Super Bowl between the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers and much is still being made about the commercials. Heck, I’ve been dying to talk about the actual game which the Ravens won, 34-31.
I was desperate so as a last resort I decided to go to my crystal ball. It wasn’t an easy decision. My crystal ball is so obnoxious, always bragging when it’s right and making excuses when it’s wrong, that it’s not a pleasant task trying to converse with it.
Anyway, I opened its drawer and took it out. It came out snarling. “Can’t you let anyone hibernate in peace?” it asked. “There’s nothing to predict right now. Football is over and basketball is underway. What do you want?”
I TOOK ITS snarling in stride. “Well, I’ve been wanting to discuss this year’s Super Bowl game and can’t find anyone to do it with,” I said. “All people want to talk about is the commercials. How about the actual game, the offense, the defense, the strategy? What do you think?”
It straightened up immediately. It loves to be asked its thoughts. It actually thinks it knows things.
“I think it was a great game,” the orb said. “I know some so-called experts didn’t think so but I don’t know what more they want. It had everything. Long runs, long passes, a breathtaking finish, two brothers coaching on opposite sides, even an intentional safety, which reminded me of when UTEP used a safety to beat TCU, 13-12, in the Sun Bowl in 1965. Heck, I enjoyed the Super Bowl game thoroughly.”
I WAS SURPRISED at the crystal ball’s positive attitude. It usually pans everything.
“Do you think the better team won the Super Bowl?” I asked.
The orb shook its head vigorously up and down. “Definitely,” it said. “Didn’t I tell you Baltimore was going to win? San Francisco was out-passed, out-run and out-coached. It would probably have been a blowout if there hadn’t been an electrical outage.”
My eyes widened. “Wait a minute,” I said. “Did you say out-coached? What do you mean by that?”
It glared at me and said, “Yes, out-coached. Why do you question me? Okay so both brothers are geniuses but games are decided by little things. The 49ers immediately came out making mistakes, lining up wrong, fumbling. Coach John Harbaugh of the Ravens is less emotional, a bit more professional than Jim and it showed.”
I STARTED to say something but didn’t get the chance.
“Besides,” the crystal ball went on, “I think it was a big blunder by the 49ers toward the end of the game to pass on their last three downs from the five yard line instead of running the ball. When you’re down there near the goal line that’s when you man up. That’s when you go to hand to hand combat. San Francisco reportedly had a better offensive line and would have had a better chance of scoring by running the ball three times than by passing.”
I argued, “But wait a minute, the refs should have called a holding penalty on that last 49ers pass,” I said. “The 49ers would have had a first down on the Baltimore one.”
The crystal ball replied, “If, if, if. Baloney. The 49ers should have run the ball.”
I’D HAD ENOUGH. The more I thought about it the more I agreed that the 49ers should have run the ball on their last three plays but I couldn’t take any more of my crystal ball’s gruff.
I said thanks, picked up the obnoxious orb and plunked it back in its drawer.
11 Mar