Ah, March Madness. What a joy to see so many outstanding basketball players do their thing. Such quickness, such agility, such shooting, such leaping ability. Okay, so not by all the players but certainly a lot of them.
And where was UTEP? At home, watching the action like the rest of us.
Maybe next year? I had to talk to someone who might have a clue about it. I hate to admit it, but my obnoxious crystal ball has been so hot lately I thought I’d take it out of its drawer and put the question to it.
“CONGRATULATIONS,” I said. “You predicted the Miners would wind up about .500 this past basketball season and you came petty close. I thought they were going to be a lot better.”
The crystal ball snorted, “You would. What do you want?”
I shrugged. “I’m pretty down in the dumps. The Miners didn’t make the basketball playoffs this season and there’s been talk that coach Tim Floyd might leave.”
The crystal ball snorted again, “Tim Floyd ain’t going nowhere.”
I shuddered. “Watch your grammar. You just used a double negative and you’re not supposed to use the word ain’t.”
The crystal ball scoffed. “What are you, my English professor? I’ll use any #$%$# words that I want. Strong words are the only kind that can get through to dummies like you.”
I BACKED OFF. “Why do you say Floyd isn’t going anywhere? He met with USC athletic director Pat Haden, didn’t he? Maybe he wanted his old job back.”
The crystal ball growled, “So what if they met! There are two theories about that meeting. One is that the meeting was a ploy to make Floyd look better. If USC wanted him back it clears him further of any wrongdoing while coaching there. If that was it, so what? USC just recently hired the coach from Florida Gulf Coast, Andy Enfield.
“Another theory is that the Floyd-Haden meeting was a ploy to get UTEP to increase his salary. But heck, maybe it was all just a friendly meeting.
“Floyd is on the verge of having a super team so like I said, he ain’t going nowhere. And there, I’ve said ain’t and used a double negative again.”
I SHRUGGED. “So you really think the Miners are going to get better?”
The crystal ball groaned, “Didn’t I just tell you so? Floyd will have four really good, experienced players coming back and he’s already signed one of the top prospects in the nation in what’s-his-name? Oh, yeah, Isaac Hamilton.
“Next year the Miners will begin a series of winning seasons culminating in lots of playoff action.”
I WAS ABOUT to say something but it kept going. “And remember this. Memphis, which has dominated Conference USA for years, is leaving for the Big East Conference. Other tough or potentially tough basketball schools like Tulsa, Central Florida, Houston, SMU and East Carolina are leaving, too. The Miners could very well take Memphis’ place as the dominant team in the USA loop. The new schools coming in are little nobodys.”
I shook my head and said, “Wait a minute. Don’t knock those so-called little schools Look what Florida Gulf Coast did in the NCAA playoffs this year. It got all the way to the Sweet Sixteen.”
The crystal ball shook its head right back at me and said, “That was a miracle, a one-time thing, an aberration. A surprise happens every year.”
I was so happy to hear the crystal ball talk so confidently about the Miners I actually thanked it. I picked it up and gently placed it back in its drawer.