Everywhere I go these days, El Pasoans are coming up to me, smiling and saying, “How ‘bout them Miners?”
For good reason. The UTEP football team, which many fans expected to do little this season, is off to a stunning start. Not counting the two “money” games they played against Texas Tech and Kansas State, the Miners were 4-1 going into this weekend. (Okay, okay, if you count the “money” games they were really 4-3).
Still, the Miners have been a big surprise to almost everyone – except my crystal ball. It predicted the Miners would win at least six games this football season. I had been hesitating to take my crystal ball out of its drawer and ask it about the upcoming UTEP basketball season because it’s so obnoxious I knew it would start bragging about its football prediction. It always brags when it’s right and makes excuses when it isn’t.
BUT WHAT could I do? The Miners open the basketball campaign in a couple of weeks against Washington State and readers are already asking me for its pick. So I opened the crystal ball’s drawer, held my nose and took it out.
As expected, it jumped out hollering, “I told you so, I told you so. You doubted me about the UTEP football team, didn’t you? Admit, admit it.”
I felt like punching it in the nose – if it only had a nose. I said, “Wait a minute. The Miners haven’t won six games yet. Anything could happen.”
It replied, “Yeah, but you know it’s all but a cinch now, don’t you?”
“Okay, okay,” I said. “I admit I doubted you, but can you just settle down and give me your thoughts about how the Miners will do in basketball this coming season? They open on Nov. 14 against Washington State.”
IT STILL HAD an obnoxious smirk on its fact but it did quiet down a bit. It cleared its throat with that disgusting officious tone it always uses when predicting, and said:
“You think the Miner football team is good? Wait ‘til you see the basketball team. The Miners are not only going to have a winning season, they’re going to the NCAA tournament.
“Coach Tim Floyd is loaded. He not only has two of the best players in Conference USA returning in Julian Washburn and Vince Hunter, both 6 feet 8, but he has 7-1 Matt Wilms, 6-10 Cedric Lang and 6-11 Hooper Vint back to handle the boards.
“Guards? C. J. Cooper will be in his senior year and the Miners have reportedly rounded up some fine young recruits. I don’t put much stock in recruits because one can’t tell how newcomers will do. Some will flop and some will surprise and become stars.
“BUT THE POINT is the Miners have the nucleus of an outstanding team. So-called experts have picked the Miners to finish second behind Louisiana Tech in the conference, but the Miners could very well finish on top. Either way, I’m picking the Miners to make the NCAA tournament.
“Now can I go back to sleep? You make me work so hard and give me so little credit. I don’t know why I even talk to you.”
I scoffed, “Work hard? My God, you’re in your drawer sleeping all year except for the few times I ask for you predictions.”
That got the crystal ball’s dander up. “Sleeping? I’m in there thinking, idiot. Why do you think I give you such good information?”
I laughed, picked it up and put it back in its drawer. “Go back to sleep,” I said, emphasizing the word sleep.